hellagays:

exdog:

paradoxes-for-breakfast:

reasons why halloween is the best holiday:

  1. you are not obliged to visit your relatives
  2. you are not obliged to get gifts for anyone
  3. people will give you candy for absolutely no reason other than halloween
  4. its the only day when its socially acceptable to go out in public dressed like a penguin

5. no one will look at you funny when you buy eighteen boxes of candy even though you fully intend to sit in the dark and eat them alone.

6. discount candy


just-a-nameless-nobody:

fullyactivated:

sherlacking:

Feminism is knowing that you don’t have to wear things to impress a man

Feminism is also knowing that it’s okay to wear things to impress a man if you want to

Society forgets the first part, tumblr forgets the second part

Thank you for this.


cybugs:

one time my uncle bought a tumbleweed so every time one of his students made a bad joke he could roll it across the classroom 


gonzozeppeli:


Just like grammar used to make

gonzozeppeli:

Just like grammar used to make


britneysbaldhead:

oomshi:

the lizzie mcguire movie changed me

it changed all of us

image


shipsnamedenterprise:

*planet explodes* *removes one earbud* what



bogusjake:

when ur running down the stairs with no bra on

image


geothebio:

when you don’t panic as much as you thought you would in a public social situation

image


buttermilkqueen:

dont u dare treat ur animals like shit in front of me i will end ur life son



"The best revenge is not giving a shit."
— (via blissxtide)

officialunitedstates:

instead of making yo mama jokes make rhode island jokes.  rhode island so small the ant population had to start building apartments to have enough room to live comfortably


peperomint:

nail polish on fingernails: 2 days
nail polish on toenails: 200 years. ur ghost will have glittery toes. ur descendants will come out of the womb w/ revlon 791 midnight affair perfectly applied. infinite


billiondollarbaby:

I can’t wait for winter because that’s when all mosquitoes die and go to hell where they belong