iwrotehighkusaboutcannabis:

You all know that Check Yes Juliet was your jam at one point



majiinboo:

chasewoods:

The Events in Ferguson will one day make a great movie for white people to feel guilty about and give an academy award to

I can see it now, the one white cop that wasn’t like the others. It’ll be Leo’s first Oscar


piscula:

"this is the internet, i can say whatever i want" is a super creepy and obvious way to say "when there are no obvious consequences for my actions i lack all empathy"


partybarackisinthehousetonight:

something that i miss about childhood? well people don’t ask me what my favorite shape is anymore. adults just don’t do this. it’s a triangle in case you were wondering. you don’t care



pizzary:

when u attempt to interact w your followers but they just ain’t havin’ it


allmymetaphors:

ppl always ask me “”what are you going to do with your degree”“ and “"if you wanna get a PHD how do you plan on paying for it"" and ""where are you gonna move after college"" but here is the thing:

i am very powerful and cute and im gonna float through this world one day at a time. please leave me alone. 


weaknudes:

waking up cold: alright I need more blankies

waking up hot: covers thrown everywhere. sweat behind the kneecaps. 3 dead. the pillow is the sun. critical condition.


tfw when high and at a family reunion
  • great aunt i've never heard of: oh my god i haven't seen you in so long!!! you look like you've grown a foot!
  • me: where


kimpissible:

THERE IS ACTUALLY NOT A BETTER FEELING THEN TO HAVE A BESTFRIEND WHO ALSO THINKS OF U AS THEIR BESTFRIEND


trust:

bongfucker:

trust:

compliment me

barbecue sauce

thanks


hellaoptile:

you know how when you go to a concert or show of some sort and the person on stage is like “HOW’S EVERYONE DOING TONIGHT?!?!?!?!” and the audience cheers back? why? you’re not answering the question, you’re just yelling. imagine if we did that in daily conversation. “hey jeff, how are ya?” and jeff just starts screaming and clapping in your face


fakebreast:

when people call their followers fans

image